Article written by Arola Poch

What to do to make your "slips" have a very happy ending.

Is it better to have a one-night stand with someone without complications, or is repeated sex more satisfying ? That was the question I posed to my Instagram followers, and, I think to the surprise of a few, the second option got more votes (61.5% versus 38.5%). And although this was a home-based survey (why deny the obvious), it coincides with the results of some studies that say there is more sexual satisfaction when there is quality and stability in the relationship . 

Do men and women enjoy casual encounters equally?

To provide (reliable) data on this, a study from New York University , which analyzed the sex lives of 24,000 students over five years, obtained some interesting results: men reached orgasm in 80% of their casual encounters , and women in 40% . However, if sex was within a more stable relationship, the percentage for women increased to 75% of the time.

What happens the morning after a chance encounter?

Other studies have analyzed reactions the following morning. And the women surveyed rated more negatively the experience the next day . They spoke of feelings of guilt , of feeling used and regret .  Coincidentally (ironically, that's why), regret was greater when sex hadn't been satisfactory. With all this in mind, it's normal that women prefer less casual sex . And it's not necessarily because we're more romantic (which there certainly are), but because we orgasm less. And it's also understandable that we seek more : if you repeat it and create a stronger bond, you're more likely to enjoy it more .

Communication in sex

Other factors associated with sexual satisfaction have to do with understanding your partner's needs , greater sexual assertiveness, and better communication . It's also not surprising that knowing each other's tastes leads to greater satisfaction. No one is born knowing how to do it, and the first time you're with someone can be a bit of a disaster if you don't talk and provide guidance. And how many people ask someone about their sexual tastes during their first sex? Well, I posed another question, this time on Twitter, and the result was that 46.1% didn't ask, but went straight to action . 

Does the intensity of orgasm influence sexual satisfaction?

Beyond communication and relationship stability, more intense orgasms and a greater variety of sexual practices were also associated with greater sexual satisfaction. Regarding intensity, there's no orgasmometer to calculate it (luckily, otherwise I'm already imagining the insane obsessions with surpassing records), but studies have been conducted on how climax is described based on four dimensions: affective, sensory, intimacy, and reward . In general, women value orgasms more intensely. And if we look at the dimensions, there are slight differences between men and women. Men show greater intensity in the reward of orgasm, while we do so in the affective and sensory aspects. All of the above boils down to the fact that women place more importance on the psychological aspect of orgasm, while men, on the physical.

Creativity in sex to improve it

Regarding the variety of sexual practices, I'm going to use a food analogy that always works well. No matter how much you love pizza, eating it every night usually ends up boring. Something similar happens with sex. If sexual encounters are limited to following a pre-written script (kissing, caressing, oral sex, penetration, and hopefully, orgasm for all parties) that's always repeated, I dare to predict that it will end up being boring. And, therefore, unsatisfying. So it makes perfect sense that the more varied the sexual practices, the higher the appreciation for sex . Recommendation: use your imagination. 

In short, “slips” with connection

Sex, as we've already seen, is most satisfying when there's communication , knowledge, and, we could call it, connection . For this connection to occur, there must be a minimum of empathy and care between all involved . In long-term relationships, it's taken for granted (although it's worth remembering how necessary it is, so no one forgets). In one-night stands, the idea is that it's just a physical release that doesn't require much more connection because, after all, "it's just sex." 

I'm a proponent of connection in every slip, whether it's with anyone, your lifelong partner or someone you just met. Because sex is never just sex; there are always emotions involved . And because that moment when you slip passionately into each other, even if you never see each other again, will be more satisfying if that connection exists. And while you're at it, if you add an orgasm enhancer—we have a few at Lubets—even better.

And you, what do you think? We're open to debate in the comments 😎